I Was Lost, Then Found… Under the Laundry
After years of being an at home Mum, I had completely lost myself. Who was I? What did I like or not like? What mattered to me? What was I interested in? I had no idea. All it took was taking the time to reconnect to lost passions to discover where I’d gone and that there was a road back to me.
I have no regrets in choosing to stay home and raise the lads. But if I had to do it again I would do things a bit differently to avoid losing myself completely.
I took tentative steps back to me when I enrolled in a night school painting class. I had always loved creating art but had completely let it go when the kids came along. The night class lit a spark. I made connections with people and my world started to get bigger again. I was given a great book by Deepak Chopra ‘The 7 Laws of Spiritual Success’ which got me back into meditating, further deepening the connection back to myself. It was also at this time that I discovered Craniosacral Therapy.
Within a short time I found the courage to apply to join a part time, year long art course that was popular and hard to get into. I got in! It was challenging on many levels, but I loved it. Through the course I discovered a love of collage and I started to explore where I’d disappeared to and began to make peace with it all. My teacher, (the very talented Mathew Browne) commented at the end of the year on how much progress I had made and how I’d blossomed.
The blossoming was palpable and it was totally about the reconnection I was making with myself and connections with others. I continued to make lots of art and signed up to learn Craniosacral Therapy and then a short time later, Chi Kung. I have never looked back.
I realise now that those things that we love to do, those things that make us happy and make time disappear, are the things that it is essential to create the time to do. It’s those things that open doors for us, that feed us, revitalise and energise us.
The popular adage “you create your life” didn’t really make sense to me until I started to work with Kath Essing (business coach and mentor). Kath suggested that I sit down and work out what was important to me. To me, not her, not my family… but me. She had me work out what I valued. Then the next step was to create a weekly schedule that included time for all of those things. It was up to me and it finally made sense. I can create my life! I CAN create my life! Time with family, time with friends, time to write, time to volunteer, meditate, create, clean the house, do the grocery shopping… whatever I need to do to construct a life that is meaningful and authentic for me.
To some people this all may seem a bit selfish and self centred. But after reading a great Facebook post during the week that reframed ‘selfish’, I realise that it might be time to reclaim the word. Selfish it seems isn’t a dirty word, it might actually be part of recipe for a long and happy life.
So there are still piles of laundry in our house, and sometimes I lose things under the piles of folded, unfolded, clean or dirty washing. But I’m glad to say these days, I’m never one of those lost things.
(art by me)